“See, the thing of it is, there’s a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don’t know they’re ugly because nobody actually tells them.” – Jerry Seinfeld

There is this really cute girl I happen to run into almost every other day. I can’t help but think of what I could possibly say to her to initiate a “hello hello” ūüėČ We always have this eye contact whenever she’s in the same room and I might be imagining things but I feel like she has passed a smile or two towards yours truly. Although I do want to reciprocate with the same gesture, I am pretty confident that I will look like a complete fool because I have not yet mastered the art of smiling politely at a stranger. I am incapable of smiling at will and usually¬†end up looking like this…

One of my biggest flaws is that I am quite shallow. I’m a sucker for beautiful girls and unintentionally convince myself that a pretty face has a pretty personality behind it. Don’t blame me but Disney, for all the books and movies I have come across in my childhood always emphasized on how beautiful the¬†princess was. I don’t¬†recall one book that involved¬†a romantic affair with the ugly sister who sported a crooked nose… so like my tales I often start my imaginary love¬†accounts with chicas¬†bonitas ūüėÄ

I’ve long wondered how beautiful girls perceive the looks they are¬†adored with while passing by. I mean not every guy is as subtle as¬†I am ūüėõ but it¬†must be quite flattering. Then why do most of these girls deal with so many self-esteem issues? I start taking¬†cellphone pictures of myself whenever I see a¬†decent¬†girl eyeing me twice, and half the times she’s only¬†looking at the clock behind me ūüė¶ Or maybe they pretend to use the same tricks I do when¬†I get caught¬†glancing at a cutie¬†‘o’ Hehe.

Why is it that people get embarrassed¬†when they are caught admiring someone? I mean no one judges a traveller appreciating the exquisite beauty of the Taj¬†Mahal¬†or the Eiffel Tower. I know it’s different when someone is just creepily eyeing you but what if he is building fables of admiration or love. What if you do like him yourself? At what point is it okay to wink? ūüėõ lol¬†I guess these things do lead to confusions at times.

For instance, sometimes you are just being nice and friendly to someone and they give you “the look”. funny kids pictures - What Are YOU Looking At?¬†Even though you’ve maintained a tone that could not be possibly¬†be perceived¬†as “flirty”¬†and carefully¬†picked on¬†words that are noted for their gender neutrality¬†during the conversation, some people just refuse to part with their pre-conceived notions of male-female interactions.

In my case I have noted that¬†when I am just nice to people, I get jacked. You know, sometimes you just smile at someone¬†on the bus and offer to help them by¬†holding their stuff while they reach for their fare… and you get the “look”.¬†On the other hand,¬†if I keep a straight face and just have my music blasting… people almost always ask for help?¬† :S which is annoying cause I love my music!!

Moving on… there is a lot of uncertainty around me right now. The next coming months might be quite a drastic change since I am not sure which part of the world I might be in, what I might be doing and why I might be doing what I am going to be doing. Does that even make sense? I’ve never been too nervous or apprehensive about change because I’ve always been with family. I guess being the youngest one does have its advantages :D… but this time it’s all up to me. You would think that this wouldn’t be on a 24-year-old man’s mind but it is. I always visioned myself being a lot more mature, responsible and independent when I turned 17 or 21 or 25 back in the days of

(8) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Heroes in a half-shell

Turtle power! (8)

But now that I am¬†of age, for sometime if I may add, I just feel the same way I did when I was playing with G.I. Joes and hot wheels. Maybe I have gained¬†a bit more understanding of the world and its ways but living with the same fears and¬†undergoing¬†the same emotions. I remember when I was 11 and my family used to religiously go to the health club where I would play tennis, squash, table-tennis, soccer and SWIM. I loved swimming, I had¬†dog-like stamina and would swim for 6 hours straight on the weekends. On the way home, we would listen to fm 99.7 with our favourite VJ Linda in Kuwait and I would rest my head on the window of my dad’s car. I remember that feeling…

Less than 2 years ago, I was visiting my folks in Dubai and coming back from a late night dinner, my parents detoured through the Atlantis hotel and I remember putting my head on the window in my dad’s SUV. I was 21 or 22 but felt like that 11-year-old boy. Stomach-filled with good food, listening to the radio and just thankful to the¬†force above for that moment while dreamily romancing with all those escaping sights. Yes, I want to be successful, yes I want to be all that I’ve ever dreamed of being… but at the end of it all – I want it with my family in a bigger car with my kids in their grandparents’ lap and a pretty chick to distract me from the road…

I’m not lonely I swear… I have a cat ūüėõ true story, my closet’s like two stories…

But at times, I feel that we all should have someone to share things with… people in the western hemisphere are so hell-bent on their “independence” that they don’t realize their real problem is that of loneliness. The sort of depression, lack of confidence and negative thinking I encounter in this part of the world is usually due to something missing. They are desperate for being accepted, excruciatingly searching for a fictional figure like a vampire or¬†a kid with the broom to sweep them off their feet and make them fall in love.¬†They might be missing love, home, family or … I don’t know. But people from the east have learnt so much from the west, it’s about time the west starts learning¬†certain things¬†from the east so everyone can meet at one mutually beneficial and harmonious point ūüôā The only¬†time people should¬†be divided is while playing a sport.

“It became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision I’ve made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat – it’s all been wrong.” – George Costanza